February 2, 2021. Tuesday.

Actually had a decent sleep last night!

10:05

Woke up at about 9. Still fell asleep at around 2 but you know, it’s better. I’ll try it a few more times.

11:37

Oh aye I came up with something while rolling around not sleeping. To be continued.

13:17

haha. Yes Spotify!

[[edit: its that ‘whigfield - saturday night’ if my embed thing broke, ill see whats up later]]

15:39

I miss working miracles! Ok that’s a bit much but someone needing to update a load of data and I chime in with a “I can write a script to speed that up if you like” and they have an easier day.

16:24

Trying to be more optimistic. So far so good.

Positive me just straight up fixed a problem negative me ruled as impossible the other day. Miracles babaaayyy haha. Back in the game.

18:34

Mind feels done for the day. Too many interactions with socially demanding people. Still an introvert.

It was a great day though. Got a lot of things progressed and will be done and dusted with this week. Week off next week.

Oh aye the thing I TBC’d was a realisation maybe I’m not ready for live stuff right now. Gonna do a YouTube thing. Watch this face.

21:40

Sometimes I’ll notice that there is an odd sort of morbid yin yang slash karma rules luck surrounding me.

I broke my hip and while yes there was a suing and settlement it was deflected off my actual employer to the building landlord through their contract, so no hard feelings! Nice!

Said employer were then dicks about the situation anyway and the solicitor I was already working with was only happy to help me sort it out. Out of an employer but with a few months runway I had a bit of a job hunt.

Within a week I found a great job. The job I’m still at 4 years on. I whinge and moan a lot now but I do like the job outside of my everything-is-pointless woe is me isolation downswings. Work from home before it was cool. Decent pay for the area, great pay compared to what I was on before.

Then my dad died, and that fucking sucked.

There was a breakup, it went smoothly. We were so in sync when she did the “we need to talk” bit my first thought was “ohhh yeahh this is a good call” haha. Amicable as heck.

My dad had a pension, and it was enough after splitting with my sisters to lift me back out of debt and a bit.

I wasn’t able to emotionally handle the deal where my ex lived in the living room until an unspecified date. Things went a bit sour.

Then her family strip mined the house for all the useful stuff that wasnt provably mine, so I needed to replace it all.

My mate Fox came round. The dude has always been there for my glory moments.

As they were pulling away. As they left. Literally. As. they. pulled. off. the. drive.

My watch buzzed. I looked at it. I burst out laughing. Fox burst out laughing. I told Fox why I was laughing. I was up 14 grand. I had it all replaced in f.u.c.k.ing DAYS. The universe makes right.

They brought my landlord into it. I say sorry that they bothered him with it, he says he wants to inspect the place at some point. They’ve probably told him about the garden (depression = nature returns) or something.

I do a search for a new place just in case. Not much. Then one pops up and it looks amazing. Like, better than my house amazing.

Almost anxiety attack out of visiting. Visit anyway. The landlord is the literal opposite of what I was expecting, he’s great. The place is amazing. It’s partial shared accomodation (shared kitchen) but I want to cut down on spending anyway and this works out like 2/3s total spend if that. It’s perfect. It’s not massive but it’s not small either. Perfect for someone like me honestly. Me and Winston the roomba could keep on top of this place no worries.

I tell the landlord I’m moving out to save on bills and he’s like oh no worries 30 days notice (one more rent) if that’s alright? Aye, I had expected it.

Move out comes, I say sorry about the state of the garden. Oh yeah don’t worry about it.

There wasn’t a deposit as we knew him friend of a friend style and we had moved from one of his other houses. I know it’s small claims court if I’ve fucked the place up. My anxiety had me convinced.

It’s all in my head. He’s more concerned about the sofa still being here, the place looks in good enough condition. He just needs to empty it out, clean it up, paint it and can rent it out almost immediately. Much better condition than he usually gets them back.

Oh. Haha.

Chuck him halfsies on a van so he can shift the sofa and all the other crap that had somehow reappeared since I gave my rental van back. Fair’s fair.

He’s happy, I’m happy. Sorted. Dude’s a decent bloke. I’d only met him for a short bit when we first got the keys to the first house haha.

Where was I going with all that? Oh yeah my new and now current landlord knocked on my door earlier..

.. with a plate of roast dinner! What?! To go from a decent landlord to an even better than that landlord is a royal flush of rentals.

Clean living? Come off as pitiful? Actually a cat that just thinks it’s a person?

Don’t worry about the luck going to my head, I’m not much of a gambler. I usually piss my money away with takeaways and that over the course of 5 years haha.

22:04

I mean I pissed it all away but I don’t regret a damn penny. A lot of it went on good times with good people. Probably not piss it all away if there’s any other windfalls though mind.

It was only my first and second time being rich, be nice! I definitely understand how lottery winners end up broke now.

What happens is you forget it’s a one off and you get things that have monthly charges. No big deal the amount I’ve got I wont need to think about it for years!

But you’re also spending on one offs, lavish grocery shops (you can do brand names now!!!). Weekly top up shops! Posh coffee subscriptions for posh people but I’m having it because fuck you that’s why! Ha!

Paying for the entire meal because it’s your mates and fuck it lmao! You try not to overdo it because you’re really just enjoying people being happy – it was never a flex.

Eventually the cash runs out. No big deal, you’ve been poor, break even, pay to pay before.

Those monthly bills though. This is why you hear of people going into debt. The freefall is fun, the landing is soft. The tar pit is sticky.

You take out loans and cards because the banks either know you have had loads of cash or they are all to happy to lock you into debt and were expecting this, either way.

It takes a few months, a few early ending penalty fees, a bunch of effort to get them cancelled.

Now you’re in your overdraft, cards, loan repayments. Interest.

While I wouldn’t do it again, I probably wouldn’t go back and change it. Good times.

I’ll earn my way back. I enjoyed living the baller lifestyle innit. Will wait till it’s a monthly income next time.

22:13

Went on a bit of a ramble there. I don’t half like to write crap.

Now I’ve wrote it all down somewhere how’s about you let go of that baggage you’ve got there, brain?

23:01

By the way I do appreciate that luck can also be written privilege. Understood. As with my rampant spending it’s sharing to spread a bit of a laugh, not flexing. Only an idiot flexes while in debt haha.

If there is anything that I can do to help you the contact form is right there :)

I’m more task oriented (could you tell me how you do xyz) than goal oriented (make me rich lol!) keep in mind haha.

Fancy an email update instead of having to pop back here every time?

Heya! I’m Cohan and I make websites. I also administer Linux servers and do other nerdy good stuff like that.
My real love is writing though, this here’s my outlet for that.
A picture of me.