January 31, 2021. Sunday.

A short story about covid (this is clickbait and only technically correct)

04:58

Give people random stories to tell

4:55am out loud “Alexa,

Nope I lost the train of thought. I hope you know how much gold falls through the cracks.

Woke up for a piss. Night.

05:03

While I’m up. I was going to make a website called covid at one point a few years back. Only for a second until I discarded it as a terrible name. Imagine if I’d have managed to get the .com. Could have made like 20 quid on that.

05:31

Hey there. me again.

If you ordered just the creepy middle bun from a big mac would it throw off their stock count forever?

05:37

Alexa mate whats that song that goes

[yelling] HEEYYYYYYYYYYY. HEYYYYYY BAYBBAAAYYY. HOOH. HAH. I WANNA KNOWWWW-OWWEEEOO. IF YOULL BE MY BIRD

06:02

I barely lift a finger to provide myself a decent living and it is a freedom I should be thankful for years and years and decades and minneliums of actual hard graft by the human race. Thank you.

In a I-swear-not-depressed way the stuff I do is all a load of bollocks isn’t it hahaha. Make a website so a law firm can -skip a few steps- represent someone for something and earn lots and lots of money that we’ve all agreed means something but it’s all just a bunch of really smart chimps doing some really clever things with their thumbs.

I don’t think I can get back to sleep with all this sentience going on.

06:03

I typoed the previous block as 06:03 and corrected it to 06:02. I hope you’re aware just how seriously I’m taking this diary thing.

06:11

Theres a bird or windy twig scraping about outside and I’ll be honest it’s scaring the shit out of me.

06:17

Power on all the computers, all the gadgets. All the lights.

Begone nature with ya spooky mornin vibes. Technology is safe, technology is home.

“What would you do if you went back to caveman times”

I would instantly die of dysentery or something. I watched the Matrix film the other day and rewound back to them comfy womb looking pod things. Get me in one of them and zip it up man.

Isolation has won. I am an indoor human now.

06:26

Oh man. Have you ever had a yawn that felt like it cleared something? Got damn that was a good yawn.

Do I get up now or do I sleep in? It’ll be funnier for the diary if it snap cuts to some stupid 4pm time.

06:29

Hey by the way did you yawn because I described a yawn? Lemme know somehow if so haha

06:34

Yawned while doing the Face ID thing and phone was like “fuck right off is that even close to Cohan’s face. Code.” it didn’t even let me have a second go at the face haha

Either neat security feature or weird coincidence

06:48

I hope this isolation reality isn’t a way for my brain to be keeping me safe from some other terrible existence.

07:00

Fuck me the computer turned on for reals. Sorry I lied about turning the tech on.

13:55

Mornin'

17:19

Had a pizza. Hawaiian. Only ate it.

Unrelated, remember this one?

18:25

hey there little girl, did you want to know.. a secret

22:30

Movie night with the Toastie lot, watched Rocky. Excellent time! Great laugh.

I’ve not seen Rocky before, just one of those that’s never hit my radar

Fancy an email update instead of having to pop back here every time?

Heya! I’m Cohan and I make websites. I also administer Linux servers and do other nerdy good stuff like that.
My real love is writing though, this here’s my outlet for that.
A picture of me.