About Me

I like writing and I like talking about myself. This is both.

About Me

I try to go for Chaotic Good if you’re into your alignment charts.

How to Contact Me

Your best best best method is always going to be by email. I say this even though I have more realtime communication apps like Slack, Discord, SMS, whatever but if accidentally mark you as read I don’t have any sort of doomscroll cycle that takes me back to see your message again. I check email regularly enough but at least once a day!

Having said that please feel free to ping me on Discord or whatever if you don’t need a guaranteed response, I have my notifications set up properly. Keep in mind it wont neccesarily be quicker though, if I’m busy I’m busy. Email is best.

Preferred Working Style

If you just want a chitchat or my say on something you’re best asking before lunch, I like to get all my data entry and admin done in the morning before I properly wake up.

My best working hours are in the afternoon-evening time probably from 3pm to 9pm. These are also the hours you’re least likely to get a response from me unless I’m really procrastinating on something as I am while writing this.


I love to tinker. Not neccesarily in the “oops I broke it” way (anymore) but more just to figure out new things, learn new skills. Learn by doing has always been my best method of learning. A dollop of tech, plenty of time, and no goal. Bliss.

I also love just doing things. Not like randomly standing up and booping myself on the nose or anything I mean more just doing things. There’s a problem with a website. No worries, fixed. Problem solving. I infinitely prefer working on problems than I do writing code. If you solve a problem bam that’s it solved. If you solve a code problem you’ve still got to write the bastarding code with all the debugging and testing that brings.


DATA ENTRY. I am a developer. Sometimes a Sysadmin. Never a data entry.. person. I got into computers beyond Excel to avoid using the bastarding software. If you’ve put me on a data entry task I probably will hate you till it’s done. It’s not personal, and I’ll try to not make it known, but it is true.

If I’m on a data entry task there’s a 99% chance I’ll try to automate it and from there about 80% it turned out quicker to automate it than doing it manually.

In addition I get really worn down and burned out if I’m on a long project with no end in sight. Anything that drags on beyond a month or two and we’re probably down below 50% capacity.


The things I try for the hardest and the things I most look for in other people are in order


I wrote an exceptionally waffling blog post on this at some point for some reason. The gist is I cannot be arsed lying. I tell the truth because I can’t be arsed keeping track of the lies.

On your side, reality I probably wont be able to tell if you’re lying. If I do find out you’ve been telling me porkies thought you’ll probably notice a healthy dollop of ghosting. Can’t be arsed telling them, can’t be arsed with people who tell them.


I am trying very hard to convert from an angry internet nerd to someone better.

In actions it can be as simple as allowing a person into a conversation when they’re being blocked out. It can be as simple as an unconditional smile or complement. Doesn’t matter what it is as long as it’s kind.


I love a laugh, who doesn’t? I’m sometimes decent at making people laugh too. I used to be more into the edgy sort of humour but now I just prefer me something light hearted and deadpan or something with many layers to it.


To cap it all off just don’t be a dickhead. That’s my goal anyway. Interpret things in the most charitable way possible rather than find an argument. Don’t engage in internet slap fights (working on it). Don’t resort to insults if there’s no further discussion. That sort of thing.

Blind Spots

I am not great at project management or sales that I know of, though admittedly I’ve never tried.

Frontend skills are basic and utility only. If you ask me for a site design you’ll get something like this site.

If I don’t write a code test then and there I’m probably not writing the test. Lets be honest. (I am working on this one!)

If I could afford to hire someone to do all of my admin and data work forever I would do so in a heartbeat. If I could hire someone to be social or to do networking for me I’d hire them even sooner than the admin person.

Pet Peeves

Honestly not many. I used to have that misophonia(?) thing going on whenever someone chewed food nearby but I have mostly trained that out at this point. Barely even notice anymore!

I also hate being used as the rubber duck when debugging. If you’re gonna ask me a question you better be taking my reply. If you come up with a solution while talking to me throw out the solution because I got a fresh one coming your way. Ok I’m not that bad, but I do like solving problems. Don’t be a tease. Throw me a cheeky problem now and then!

Heya! I’m Cohan and I make PHP-based websites. I also administer Linux servers and do other nerdy good stuff like that.
My real love is writing though, this here’s my outlet for that.
A picture of me.